Saying goodbye to your two best friends

July 1990, Madras India

Four weeks ago my father passed away, and I was reminded of what it was like when my mother died 13 years ago. I feel extremely fortunate to have had two wonderful parents for such a long time. Not many people get to have that.

It is difficult to know that my two best friends are no longer here to speak with me and give me comfort, but, alas, this is an inevitability that happens to us all.

Over the last few weeks I spent a good deal of time in my childhood home and came across many old pictures and even a few home videos. The picture above is from our family visit to India when I was ten years old. I was participating in a Hindu ceremony, hence why I was soaked with water.

A substantial part of me will be forever missing after the death of my father and with the longstanding absence of my mother over these past years. I don’t think anyone really stops grieving after the loss of a best friend, but I will cherish the great memories of the past and take comfort in knowing that I brought some joy to my parents’ lives.

During my time in my childhood home I collected various letters and notes my parents had written and received over the past 45 years since coming to the United States. One note that my mother wrote probably in the early 1980s was in a diary she kept, and it read loosely, “Weep and you will weep alone. Smile, my dear, for if you smile the world will smile along with you.” Those words greeted me here after my arrival back home.